Unavoidable Laws of the Universe

One of my online time sinks recently has been the "How Things Work" list, as clued in to by a column in one of the trade rags I receive at work. The following is from a recent post there.

These are the unavoidable laws of the universe as we know it:
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly proportional to the newness, color, and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Infinite Possibilities: Anything is possible ... if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Gerald's Law: If you're aware of being in your body, there's no such thing as getting lost. But sometimes it might take you longer to reach your destination than you had planned.
17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
20. Sterling's Law: If you stop on the loneliest road in the world to take a piss, along will come a car.

Corollary to 9.: The best way to make a prototype fail is to demonstrate it, but, I suspect that Earle's philosophy of overnight design decisions helps assure success in a way we don't understand.

If you try to use avail. light for photography, the best way to create a little breeze when there's not a lot of light is to try to take a closeup shot of a flower.

The best way to build an oscillator is to design an amplifier, and vice versa.